I remember that first time. On the verge of separation it felt like I had to do all I could to grab onto what I had between us. These spaces, interactions, laughs, jokes, kisses and movements the encompass each moment are so fragile, because once they are gone they are lost forever. That’s why they are so valuable, because they pass by without a whisper, and when you finally realize, that’s when it’s aged like good wine and you an reminisce. But at the same time you won’t be able to remember every single detail. Maybe the warmth of a certain day, the twitch of a lip, the roughness and coldness of the grass scratching and tickling your back as you lay facing towards the sun. It’s not the whole picture, but parts of it. So on that day when I knew it was the end, I did nothing but try to write down each and every single memory. As many and I could recall, but every enough to fill them up. As great as the mind is, it is not perfect in the details and repetition, and in a way maybe that’s why it is so perfect. Because it knows best how to mess you up and how to keep your heart throbbing.
Now with us, I know it is impossible to keep each memory. Alas we did try (well you did). Your box of stuff is a unique romantic treasure of ours. And I presume that it only contains 3 years? There was a lot of recording in the first few years and then came the camera phones and we did some more. But neither is perfect. And neither are the memories of each other. Wasn’t there a saying where they say that nothing is every forgotten? That maybe you just need the right signals to elicit the right memories. Sometimes there would be memories buried at the bottom of the pile that you probably haven’t thought about in years, and with the right scents, the right textures and lighting, they sneeze and wake up…crawl to the top slowly and you open them up like a treasure. Sometimes the mind is a beautiful treasure box where so many beautiful secrets lie dormant… waiting to wake up to be enjoyed, if only for a brief moment.
Within Temptation-Memories
